And not the fun party game.

When we moved to Roanoke, I was just looking to get out of Tappahannock.  It felt really good to be back in civilization again.  Be able to go to places in under an hour.  After we moved here, Hubby started up his practice in Blacksburg, about an hour away.  I knew that we would want to move down there eventually.  I know that was in the cards.  Someday.

So we are in Roanoke, and I am waiting to see what Hubby is going to do.  Will he keep his practice in Roanoke, will he stay in Blacksburg?  Hubby is not the fastest mover, and we were not in a hurry to leave, with the housing market the way it is.

I am still waiting for Hubby to decide to move, and I think he may want to make a move soon.  Maybe within the next year or so.  But that puts a hitch in the family building plans.

He is still on the fence about a second child, and I understand that.  He is scared I will have health issues, or post partum depression.  Last pregnancy I had issues with my heart, and then had some major baby blues after pregnancy.  I do not think it was a deep depression, but something was not right, and I am finally on my feet again. Hubby is not looking for a repeat.  I understand that.

Next time, I want to do things a little differently.  I know a bit more about what to expect, and what I need post partum.  I want to get more help and not be so isolated.  I want to be a part of a mothers group to help get me through the first few months post partum.  I want to exercise more, both during and after my pregnancy.  I think my running will help post partum, and I am debating trying water aerobics and lap swimming during my next pregnancy. Exercise can help with depression, and I think that is something I can do to help stave it off.  It may also help with heart issues, too.

I expect a little bit of baby blues.  That is normal.  But with help I should be able to stave off full on depression.

I would rather have the second child sooner rather than later.  All of the REs are in Roanoke, and we will be traveling to Richmond for transfer.  It will be easier to do the conception from here.  Not to mention, I am older.  I can hear the biological clock ticking.  I really want to conceive in the next calendar year.  Get it over with.

I hate having things up in the air.  Waiting is so much easier when you have a plan, and know when the wait will be over.  I do not know when Hubby will be ready to go for a second child.  It also sounds to me like he wants to move soon.  I also want both of these things.  I would not mind doing both in 2012.  Maybe we could start trying in January or February, and hope it sticks on the first or second try?  Maybe we could try to move by summer after we conceive?  That would give me a chance to get involved in a mother’s group and a church where ever we move to.  Not to mention finding a new gym and a new ob/gyn.  (Though I have an ob/gyn in mind from when we lived there before.)

Sigh.  I really hate not having a plan for these major changes.  At least a general idea as to what we would like to do, even if life causes us to deviate from that plan.  And Hubby has been too stressed to really want to talk about it.  I do not know what to do.  I cannot make these plans on my own.

I seem to be stuck in limbo.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jess
    Oct 08, 2011 @ 19:29:03

    I’m with you, I need a plan…for my own sanity. I agree with you about a second, in some ways it’s entirely different, but it’s also easier because you can prepare better for all those things you didn’t know how to handle the first time.

    Hopefully you can make a plan soon.


    • vablondie
      Oct 08, 2011 @ 21:26:51

      I think you are doing amazingly well, as you are in the process of having your next few! I think that having triplets would be very scary!

      I suspect it is our need for control which has us wanting to plan. I like to at least know what is going to happen. It can be so hard for me to let go and let things happen as they will.


  2. Blanche
    Oct 09, 2011 @ 21:44:23

    I hear you (and that dreaded tick, tick tick too). Our discussions center around moving to Richmond but then we circle around to whether DH will be changing jobs or not, and if so, where would he look, and then how we don’t want to leave our current house/neighborhood, which returns us to the subject of his commute and why we started to discuss moving in the 1st place.

    At least DH talked with a friend of his this weekend who now has 2 about how that was much less of a change for them…so that’s a positive.


    • vablondie
      Oct 09, 2011 @ 22:33:44

      The though processes of husbands are enough to drive you batty! My Hubby has been talking about moving for about a year. Just make a decision, already!

      I would like to get the second child on the way, but I am trying to wait until Hubby is more comfortable with the idea. It is not easy, as patience is not one of my virtues.


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