Should I or shouldn’t I?

To update those who want to know, I did finally get to my GP for a antidepressant.  He determined that I did actually have clinical depression, and he put me on Well.butrin.  I felt comfortable with that.  I was a little freaked out by the side effects of SSRIs, and I suspect would have been like trying to kill a fly with a shotgun.  It would work, but do I really need something that heavy?  I think all I need was a little mood lift, and I am determined not to be on this forever.  So Well.butrin I feel comfortable with.

I feel a little better going on the antidepressant.  At least there is hope that I will feel better soon, and have the energy to work my way out of this darkness.

I am still keeping up with the exercise, and I ran and walked a total of 2.5 miles this morning.  I started doing 1/2 mile intervals at the gym, and my pace during the intervals was around 10:15.  Pretty decent, I think.

I am trying to decide how much of this depression I should blog about.  It can get repetitive and down, but I suspect I was already repetitive and dark.  At least I am finally getting help and trying something new.  So hopefully things will change.  We can only hope.

I am also tempted to post to Band Back Together, because this moderate clinical depression I have is painful and hard.  I suspect it is more common than many people realize, and it is comforting to know that you are not alone.  It is difficult for me to get out of bed in the morning, difficult to find the energy to make it through the day, and hard to maintain a positive outlook.  Exercise helps.  I will feel normal for a few hours after a workout, but usually will be tired again after a couple hours.  I feel like I am fighting my way through every day, and that gets exhausting.  I am tired of fighting.

Blogging my journey could help someone.  At the very least, it will probably help me.


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