The next thing.

Now that I have finished the half marathon, I feel really good about myself.   Just maybe things are possible.

The next challenge I want to tackle is having a second child.  This sort of scares me.

I really want things to be perfect.  Which means that I ought to weigh less, according to the scale.  I still cannot get under 200 pounds.  It is rather frustrating.  I suspect that I have to be very strict with my diet in order to lose any weight at all.  There is only so much I can do, between work, child, and husband.  I am really trying.  I am back to trying to record my food, which actually does help me limit what I eat.  I also need to pay more attention to my body and listen when it tells me I am full.  I also need to drink more water.

I am trying to accept the fact that I am not going to get under 200 pounds right now.  I am not happy about it.  For me it is an imperfection.  I want to be lighter.  I want to lose weight.  But it is not happening right now, so it is something I need to let go.

But I am healthier than I have been in quite a while.  I am definitely less round.  I have noticed that at times.   Others have noticed, too.  (Especially Hubby.)  When I eat right, I really feel better.  When I do not eat right, I usually can feel it.  I found I have become a little dependent on running.  Which is not necessarily a bad thing.

If I embrace my imperfection, and just focus on being healthy, I may actually be able to do this.

There are still things to coordinate.  My current gyn doc is leaving, and she does not do OB anyway.  I need to find another doc, who does OB.  I also need my yearly exam and stuff.  And I need to make sure that he/she is willing to work with my RE.  And I need to make sure that my RE is willing to work with my OB.  This means phone calls, this means office visits, and this means signing releases of medical info.  It is a lot of work.  It may not be as bad as I am thinking.  I really hope that is the case.

My goal over the next month is to get things lined up for a November or December cycle.  Make the phone calls, do the appointments, and sign the papers.  I am going to take a vacation mid-October, and I do not want to cut that short.

I may see if there is a local race near Halloween.  That would keep me running and give me something to run for.   I feel good when I run, and it keeps me healthy.


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