Feeling it coming

I feel like it is coming, if not already here.

Big blue, depression, low spirits.  Dark night of the soul.  Whatever you want to call it.

It is a beautiful day outside, and I can barely get it together to do much.

I did manage church this morning.  It was not too bad.  There was no Sunday school and only two of us showed up.  We just chatted the entire time.  There was very little mention of Mother’s day during the service, for which I was grateful.  I think on some level I am trying to pretend this is just a normal day.  Makes it easier that we did not plan anything special.  Hubby’s gifts to me are gifts of time.  He is taking Child as much as possible.  He folded laundry.  He fixed me lunch.

That is all I really wanted, anyway.  Just a little space to be sad.  I am feeling discouraged and a little hopeless right now.  Probably not all that surprising given the events of the last month.

I think I need to find the time to meditate every day.  I have read that meditation can change your brain.  Maybe that is what I need right now.  I am having a hard time finding time to run, which makes me sad.  Long hours at work and chores and child going to bed late do not make it easy to get a run in.  But I may be able to find time to meditate for 15 minutes.  I think I need to.

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