Middle of the night ramblings…

I got called in for a d and e for retained placenta after fetal demise.  Cases like that just break my heart.

And make me think about where I am.  Because loss overlaps so much with infertility.  And infertility is a type of loss, too.

Tonight I am thinking about not being able have another child.

We have one more FET, which we think we will do in February.  I have the time off, and I have the acupuncture in place.

After that….I do not know.  I have started looking into international adoption, but it looks a lot different than I expected.  The Hague convention changed everything, and it all seems very hard.  Not sure how I feel about adopting a toddler/pre-schooler.  It seems like it would be traumatic for the child.  Maybe we could make it work, though, if we could figure out the travel.  We cannot afford to take more than a week off at a time.

We would rather not do domestic adoption, because the system is so hard to work with, and Hubby works with them fairly regularly.  I also do not think that we are comfortable opening our family up like that.

It would be nice to do another stimulation cycle and see what comes of that, but I am not sure that will fly with Hubby.  It wold definitely be easier in some ways, more difficult in others.  At this point, it is what I am most comfortable with.

Just feeling rather hopeless and brokenhearted about all sorts of things.  Hoping things look better in the morning.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Geochick (@geochick_1)
    Dec 31, 2014 @ 16:54:08

    Hoping your FET works. It’s all difficult no matter the road you take. ((hugs))


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